Sunday, February 07, 2010

Turning the cranks

Well January was about the National Time Trial Champs and then to the Tour Downunder and now I am back home and there is nothing much going on. Riding the bike is about turning the cranks and just riding at the moment. I have had to apply for a position at work that is nearly three hours from home as part of a redployment programme. Whilst that is not good and who knows if I will even get the position, I did have to write up a CV which was a first for me, I had never had a CV and I must say it looks impressive......I would employ me! was a learning experience for me trying to write a CV.

That was last week. I have been riding and fighting off some depressive moments where I seriously struggle to ride my bike, just feel sad and not coping with my emotions, other days I am fine.....some of you may not be aware but I am in a work dispute, which has been going on for 9 months and who knows what is going to happen. I just want my job back as an on road paramedic, but there are medical issues and basically it is red tape.....too complicated to write here but basically I dont tick the right box according to the ambulance doctor so until further notice I am off the road.

I am still training, will be back studying next month as I am doing a Nutritionist course (started early 2009) and getting into my photography business The business is only very new and I am learning about my camera and I just downloaded GIMP (the free photoshop) and it is fantastic.

I am really writing this entry in response to my dad who has noticed a lack of diary entries of late, not much to report. I have been busy taking pics and riding in some shocking wind.

I did buy the Cycling Tips knicks they are capo knicks and they are great. I am not one to rave about gear usually, just use whatever, but the capo knicks are really comfy and a good lycra. I have a lot of knicks, most bought on special or end of season run out etc etc........

No pics today, just an update......This week I will probably have a job interview, I have to see my doc in Melb and I want to do some longer bike rides and get my endurance back up a bit........Who knows what will happen in the nexty twelve months in some ways I am at a HUGE intersection in life and there are a few choices, and my GPS is malfunctioning and not sure which direction to send will sort itself out.......I just have to stay positive and remain assertive and get rid of that friggin self doubt that is sneaking into the back of my head!..........Cant believe I am actually voicing all of this here....just keep turning the cranks and focus on where you are going!
"Its not what happens to you that matter, it's what you do about what happens that matters."


trio said...

Hope things get sorted with work. Keep an eye on the depressive days. My Dr says when there are more of them than good days then I have to go and see him as that is when it is harder to drag yourself back - in my case with cycling.

I wouldn't fancy a 3 hour commute at all! So hope that you can get the job you want back.

Mike J said...

Hang in there. Those depressive days are tough and it's hard to get out of that groove but if you fight it long enough the good days will come. Believe in yourself. It's tough sometimes but you need to be your biggest fan.

Red Bike said...

I think that sometimes we get a little bit too hung up on the performance aspect of cycling. It's good to go out riding with no other intentions than to turn those cranks for a bit.

It gives you time to relax, think things through calmly and forget your worries for a while while you concentrate on the horizon.

I find just turning the cranks for a bit is a great way relieve stress and brighten my mood.

I'm sure everything will work out for the best in the end.

Bluenoser said...

Competitive Cyclist... stamp... hired.

CV enough for me.


Buttsy said...

Thanks guys.
Had the interview yesterday and today they rang to twll me I was unsuccessful - not too unhappy about that I must admit.
Back to the drawing board!

I went out this morning and turned the cranks on my own for 90km...I was absolutley buggered at the end. yesterday was a huge day job interviews, medical appointments and the all important shopping ...and train rides and training and very busy.....

Mel-2nd Chances said...

Just read your above comment updating your post, sorry that it go your way :( Now that you have your CV, I hope you are able to find your dream job will less than a 3 hour commute!

This post was timely for me as I'm in a bit of a cross-roads too and feeling those depressive moments, in fact, my kleenex from drying my tears is still in my hand. Like you, I know it'll sort itself out. Take care.

Buttsy said...

Thanks Mel, you sound like me, just about anything can make you cry at the moment, I watched a one hour special on Susan Boyle, the singer yesterday and bawled the whole way through. I dreamed a dream was the show title and you cant help but wonder "What can I do to acheive my dreams...hang on...what are my dreams?" Must work on that one.


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A place to vent my cycling frustrations and get some motivation to keep training hard